too many adjustments ---down

My dear friend told me tonight that I needed to blog, she was in the dark.  To be truthful I guess the reason I haven't blogged is because I have been down and dumpy.  I am so greatful that Roger has a new job, I am just beyond ready for him to start.  We are praying he will be starting the first of next week.  I know that God has a plan and a timetable.  I think that I have just been down, ready to have me time.  I know that is selfish.

 I am not currently going to the gym.  I got discouraged because of money, and inability to pay for another month at crossfit.  Although I was discouraged before that.  The crossfit is so much harder here than in Texas, It was very difficult on the wod times were double from what I was used to.  Also there weren't as many modifications, and I was expected to do more.  I know that is me whining but without a local Chiropractor it is hard to think it is okay to do stuff knowing that I don't have Mark to fix my back and hip.  I quit going the day I tweaked my hip doing box jumps.  I know that I need to get over myself and get back to moving.  We have 24 hour fitness membership that we had gotten in January, that is good for 2 years.  They have water aerobics classes 2 days a week.  I am going to go in the morning and see how they are.

I have not been eating well and been really struggling with that.  I know that what I eat directly affects how I feel.  then I beat myself up and think well it really doesn't matter any way.  Only it does.  I know in my head that I feel so much better when I eat right, but sometimes I get into a funk and eat what I want when I want.  I am a food addict, always have been.

In times of stress I fall back into my old habits of eating and not taking care of myself.  For what ever reason I have taken this job loss really hard.  It has been so difficult on me.  I know that it is Roger whom was out of a job, but it effects the whole family.  I am his wife and his biggest fan.  When he hurts so do I.  Unlike all the other times in our lives that we have been without work, I always took everything in stride, and always have and always will rely on my faith to carry my through.  This time my faith is still in tact, but my sense of security has not been there.  Unlike times in the past we currently have 2 houses in 2 different states.  We have used up all savings.  We are fine, God has definitely provided for us.  God has been amazing.  I guess it has been hard to watch the bank dwindle and there is nothing I can do about it.  I trust in God and he has always provided and is still providing.

We moved to Missouri a little over a month ago.  I am starting to get to know some of the ladies from church, and a couple of ladies in the neighborhood.  But I terribly miss the friends from Texas.  I also have a wonderful dear friend that is in Oklahoma.  She checks up on me and prays for me daily.  Making a 500 mile move is life changing.  It is like living in a completely different world.  I have had to find my way around and discover new things here.  I love it here,  The weather , the beauty is all around me.  I drive down our street and see God all around me.  There are signs of fall in its splendor of color all around.  There are hills, and lakes and parks.  Life is very peaceful here.  Our church is amazing, It feels like home.  I guess there just has been a lot of adjustment and I am having trouble with all the adjustments all at once.