Hmmm... Where to begin??????  Life is full of all kinds of changes.  As you know we moved to Missouri for a job.

  Two weeks after Roger started the job went away. So we are back to hunting for a job.  It has been 2 long weeks since he went back to job hunting.  I seem to be taking it very harshly.  I am so proud of him he is working so hard at finding employment!  He has some meetings this morning, God willing something will pan out.  Through this whole process I am relying on God. I know he has a plan and a timetable.  I have had many discussions with God over the last couple of weeks about my timing verses his timing.  I have relearned that it is all him no matter what I say.  I am not a patient person, I want things now.  I am struggling with this unemployment, most of them have been easier to deal with, for some reason this one has really been hard on me.  Maybe it is the fact that we have a house in Texas and a house in Missouri, maybe it is the dwindling money supply, maybe it is just a new world.  I love it here, the weather is amazing!  And yes I know it will be cold this winter but I love winter so I am excited.

  We found an amazing church family. that has a Wednesday night ladies group, and wonderful Sunday night small group, even a Monday night teen Bible study for the boys.

  We found a  cross fit gym, Both Roger and I have been attending the onramp class , which is a teaching class to teach you how to cross fit, how to safely do the moves.  It has been a blast.  I am missing class this morning, this is day 2 of the blahs.  My back is killing me after the workout on Monday.  I tweaked the spot in my hip that always bothers me.

I started a Beth Moore Bible study with my dear friend Stacey, only I am struggling to keep up.  I missed 1 day last week and a 2 this week.  I am not a very disciplined person.  I really struggle with keeping on track, I made myself schedules and a general plan for each day, but I don't seem to be able to keep up.  I set aside time for the Bible study, a time for housework, a time for paperwork and email, a time for grocery shopping.  The plan looks really good but the reality of me keeping is kinda a joke.  I am not motivated to keep up with it.  I am not eating correctly, and I am not sleeping very well.  I know these things have a lot to do with why I am not keeping up.  This is the first time in my life that I have me to deal with during the day, no kids.  Roger has been home looking for a job, but frankly he worked from home a lot before the first round of unemployment in July.  I am used to him being here.

Today I am completely alone for the first time in over 2 weeks.  I am enjoying the peace and quiet.  I think maybe I missed the gym this morning more because I needed the alone time than my back which is hurting but .....  That makes me selfish for wanting alone time.  I think this is day 2 of poor poor me.  Sorry I am dumping it all out there, but I need to release some of the anxiety.  I don't like the down me, it is depressing and yucky.

Please pray with me that I will come out of my yuck and blah and go back to being the happy go lucky person I love being.