Mother's Day

I was always raised that Mother's day was a day to honor your mother.  I have an amazing mother and through the years I have aquired 2 more mothers.  All are very wonderful woman.  And women I look up to in many ways.  As a mom I now understand a lot more about Mothers day.  

As an adult I have discovered that I hate Mothers Day, my birthday, My anniversary and any other days that are supposed to be about me.  You see in my life that is not that way it works.  Those special days are just another day.  Bills to be paid, laundry to be washed and folded and put away, dishes to be done.  Meals to be cooked, kids to referee, husbands to take care of.

I assign my kids chores and that goes really far..... not.  Sometimes they are very good at doing them and other times life gets in the way.  Now if you know me you know that my house is not emaculate, there is always laundry to fold and dishes to do.  I have often dreamed of having a clean house that the children clean up after them selfs and do it without thinking about it.  I have dreamed of having other people in my house do things for me to make me feel special, but you see they don't know how to do that.

Today I missed church because of  Chris, he was in a mood.  So I paid bills, balanced the check book,  washed tons of laundry and folded it and put away.  I have washed about 5 sinks full of dishes.  I cleaned up the pantry.  I have been working on cleaning the kitchen.   I will be fixing dinner shortly.  I have moderated fights between kids, I have been the parent on duty so my darling husband could take a nap.    It seems to me to be an ordinary day in my life.

So yes today has been difficult there is no refuge on Facebook, because everyone is so happy about mothers day, and yet for me it is so depressing.
  I did get a lot of drawings my kids made.  I got a begonia from Bekah, A flat of pansies that I bought from Bobby.  And some ugly flowers I bought from the other 3 kids.    And those things are very wonderful and mean a lot to me.  But as far as a day off to relax and let everyone serve me that is just not in the cards.  For the most part never has been and to my knowledge probably will never be. The hype is all about our mothers and yet there are mothers that just keep on living life and doing what needs doing.

As an adult I have learned to appreciate all the sacrifices that my mother made on my behalf, so I could be a kids and have fun.  I love you MOM