Change of plans

We spent the summer planning and preparing.  The 4th day of school myworld blew up.  I was taken by ambulance to the hospital.  I had tge signs of having a heart attack.  Thankfully it was a stress related panick attack.  I  spent 4 days in tge hospital.  While there  had an ovarian  cyst rupture.  I am much better but it was decided by everyone that i needed to reduce my stress and fast.  We enrolled the girls back into public school.  Rachel moved back in with her father.  I was left to recoverin peace.  At church i was scheduled to start teaching the 1--2 grade sunday school class.  My helper switched place swith me so she is the teacher and i am the helper.

All of this being  said it has not helped my depression.  The past 6 weeks have felt very dark and lonely.  I packed most of the  homeschool   stuff away.  Roger doesnt want me to sell it or get  rid of it; just in case.  So every time  i go to the deep freezer or go to change over laundry, there sits a sad reminder of what could have been.

A dear friend has been really quite encouraging to me the past couple weeks.  She has had me come help her do bulition   boards at church.  She has been a wonderful sounding board to help work through some of the feelings and emotion of my whole world being ripped from underneath me.  I thank  God daily for that friendship.  I am better but have a long way to go.

To improve my health i need desperately   to loose weight.  But i have serious   motivation  issues.  Also doing exercise tends to be extra painful with a bum knee and chronic back issues.  Ì let my   gym membership  go as it was just toomuch miney right now.  Roger brought me a pedometer home the other  day,  it is connected to our health insurance.  There are cash incentives formeeting preset goals.  He gave it tome o Friday , i have started walking everyday slowly but surely.  I have not made any of the preset goals but i havent given up yet either.   I am going to keep walking!!☺
Someday i might even meet one of their preset goals!!  Just getting out of my chair and walking around the block everyday is my first goal.  So far i have made 3/5 days.