This is really hard. I am tired of this roller coaster. One day he is doing so well and the next I am soooo discouraged by where he is still at. This is so frusterating. He is better than when he left 6 weeks ago but at the same time we are in a lot of ways in the same spot. He is better at controlling his anger and is easier to calm down. But we are still having a lot of fit and problems. I had so prayed that he would come home healed and normal and ok. The realality of this is that he is not. We have not gotten to the heart of the problems and until we get there we cannot really start healing.
He likes his new school. It seems to be a good place for him to be. It is kinda nice to get back to routines of getting up early and getting the day started from there. I seem to be more productive, only that I am pooped by the end of the day.
With everything with Chris I keep questioning is there anything more I can be doing to help him. I spend a lot of time praying as I go through the day. I don't read the Word like I should but I am trying to do that more often. I feel like this is still such a huge struggle and battle. I love him very dearly. Just really don't know what to do with him.
I talked to Sandy.... Bobby will be home on Sunday, uncle Rick will be taking him camping then will bring him half way home. I can do that. Bobby will really enjoy the time with Rick.
This morning Sarah and I had a bottle throwing away ceremony. She did really good until I got to the last bottle, then she wasn't all that sure. So far she screamed herself to sleep for her morning nap. But I am being strong and not giving in. It is time.
I do feel like mean mommy today. Bek has been in trouble for whining, we are also working on breaking that habbit as well.
I wish you a happy day
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